Venue : PPAfan generator house. Time is 5:00pm. Entry date is today.
The first entry I made on this blog is we are launched. If you read that post please kindly unread it in your head. We are not yet launched biko. We are just practising.
As you know I am pretty new to this whole blogging thing. I only decided to try my hands on writing so my close friends will stop abusing me on how ” I am a talent wasting away” and how I can write a book or work as a journalist with a news agency bla bla…heck!!!! it got really exhausting at a point. I decided to finally stare laziness and procastination in the eye by starting this blog to the glory of Amala and Ewedu plus plenty goat meat.
Christmas is few days away and I sincerely hope to achieve some milestones that will set the tone for my activities in 2020.
1. Get a suitable name, logo and idea for the blog. If you are a consistent reader or follower you must have noticed the lack of a direct pattern. I am just writing because writing is supposed to be done by me. I need a purpose and a direction. I am still brainstorming for an ideal name, perfect theme and my niche of writing. Please feel free to make suggestions if you ever get to read this!!!
I also hope to be able to upgrade my blog from the free plan to a paid platform in order to be able to customize all the ideas in my head and artistically express them to my people.
2. Learn Email Marketing: Some few months back I attended a lecture on how to use Mail chimp and all those tools for email marketing but the truth is I haven’t practised it and I don’t think I know it well. During the class, I was just staring at the teacher who was just sweating profusely and trying his possible best to impact the knowledge that he knows to one student whose mind was in Neptune. If I did understand a thing or two at that time, I must have almost forgotten the lessons with all the food I have eaten from that time till now. One of my plans in the coming days involves using Mailchimp to send out some letters to some friends that have indicated interest in the idea. So it is paramount that I acquire and reacquire this skill by fire by thunder so my mailing list can at least fulfill purpose.
3. Get a mentor: At the moment I am mentorless. I have never had a mentor or even role model sef. It is because I have never been so attracted to anyone enough to desire mentorship and close relationship that can be termed as a type of mentor – mentee thing. The truth is that I am growing and I need someone I can be accountable to.
Daughter of Zion that I am is ready to chew and swallow her pride and ego in order to seek help in the right direction (please what did I even eat this afternoon sef????…this is not the Abigael I know sha)
4. Read three new books: Growing up, I used to read booooooooooooooks like my life depended on it. I had a friend when I was staying off campus in 200 level who had almost a big wardrobe of books in her collection. I almost finished all the novels she had within the space of six months. I read those juicy books hungrily with and without her permission ???. I used to be so scared of boredom during the holidays that I usually stole her books to take home with me. To be sincere, I stole over 30 books to take home because I knew she wouldn’t give me if I asked as a normal human being should.
I was so desperate to read and I went all out to satisfy my cravings. I returned some that were in good condition tho and I still have some that were not in a healthy state to be returned. I mutilated many of the books with my pen and commentaries about things and characters I found fascinating while reading
In these “adulthood is a scam” days, it is a big struggle to complete a book. Ebooks are a little better but still not at the rate I desire. I have read about 15 ebooks this year and I haven’t even completed a single hardcopy book. My Pastor gave me a book to read in January on how to make checklists to enhance effetiveness in the workplace. I had the book with me till September but only read two or three chapters. I was so ashamed of myself that I returned the book without finishing it when he demanded for his book to be returned osiso. I read the reviews online and added 1+1 to make a sentence to defend myself. You see why I said hard copy is such a herculean task to complete for me ehhheeeeeeeeen??? I am thinking pe it is because I am mentally lazy now. All I crave now is the baby girl lifestyle, money and plenty pampering.
All the above background narrative is to explain to you that reading three (3) almighty hardcopy books between now and December is almost a suicide mission for my low attention span. I am ready to challenge myself maybe…just maybe I can rekindle the dwindling flames of my reading passion so it doesn’t die a natural death or fade away like my fart after a meal of beans and three boiled eggs.
5. Make a new friend: I don’t also think this is possible but giving something a trial might just be what is needed. Relationship is the currency of the spirit and your network of friends is just almost like your net worth.
I honestly do not like sounding like all those aspire to inspire, conspire, enquire and retire till you expire kind of people who are motivating people with big big grammar that I don’t understand. But the above quote on the sum of your network being your networth is so true. Last month I lost 20k from the petty cash that I handle in my office…there was an emergency need for the money and I didn’t have it that moment.
I called seven (7) of my closest friends to loan me the money (20k) so I could pay back the following week after I must have sorted myself. People of God…I only got tales of woe that made me appreciate my life and realise that even though I don’t have life all figured out as I expected myself to have done by now, I still have a lot of things to be thankful for.
After a lengthy rehearsal on how to ask, I finally got the money from one blessed man in my church like that. I was even thinking he will ask me to keep the money and not bother with the refund when I requested for his account number so I could return it at the agreed date???. I returned the money as agreed even tho it took a lot of grammar out of my mouth before he could give it to me. 20k na gold in this economy. Nigeria must be hard meeeeeehnnnnn. May God lift us to a level that it will be so easy to afford all our needs and wants. So I can travel to Dubai and Paris to taste how their weather feels like.
So I need a friend who has sense and plenty money biko. Plenty value dey that I will add to your existence. Don’t worry about me being a parasitic idiot….I am not and don’t plan to be one.
6. Attend at least five (5) Christmas Carols: Carol service turns me on. I love the whole christmassy decorations and the “Little baby Jesus wrapped in a swaddling cloth in a manger” songs are a thing to die for. The vibe in the air and the red and white combo that usually looks like Sango’s installation party is also a whole vibe for me.
I always look forward to Carol services in Sabi churches like CoZA, House on the rock, Father’s church, PPAfan and other blessed sanctuaries where God lives. So please note that apart from accepting the JOLLOF rice and red wine associated with Christmas season I am also accepting invitations for sensible carol services. Just bear in mind that I am not referring to the atmosphere in “where two or three are gathered in His name oooo” No vex abeg. I just had to clarify myself. I don’t want to see Father Christmas that will scare my ovaries and tickle my unborn kids.
7. I hope to Carry out one selfless act and see that I won’t die: Hehehehehehhehehe. This should be self explanatory as much as explanation is concerned or required. It doesn’t need further clarification or juxtaposition (what the heck does this word mean????) I saw the word last in one of those CLA courses in school. All I need to fulfill this is just to be conscious about doing good and emulate “Mr DO Good” to become Mrs Do Good. You feel me right??? I also feel myself …you know what I mean naaaa.
8. Get my Facebook page active: I have been posting on that platform since the beginning of 2019 but the post can only be seen by me. Facebook unpublished the page at a point because I wasn’t using it but yesterday I did a little work on it. Before Christmas, I hope to be able to grow the page. I shouldn’t be a digital marketer for nothing or by title alone. Funny thing is this stuff can be done in few minutes at a sitting but this blessed Abigael girl must just complicate the basic things of life.
9. Get my driving licence: I still navigate town with my learners permit and I feel so uncomfortable about it. To get the licence, I need a certificate from a driving school. That should not be difficult if I budget enough money to grease those oily and dusty palms of the people involved. It is not like I will give bribe ooooo. I will just wet their nonsense palm and get the damned certificate for a school I didn’t attend. I will gist you of my driving tales someday. Only those who see my WhatsApp status and the security guards at our church gate can relate.
10. Reconnect the water in my apartment: Last month I was just tired of the whole wahala of being a Nigerian. I have been paying for water but they rarely supply the water when I need it. I usually resume to work by 9:00am and most days I do not come back till 8:00pm ir later. Those water board annoying people usually supply the water when all the right thinking human beings have gone to work so that ghosts and my ancestors can use the water in my absence.
I got so vexed and told the officers I was not interested in their “mumu” water again and that they should cut it. Even though I didn’t really mean it at that point sha, but I guess my tone and facial expressions must have registered my internal displeasure. Bottom line of the long story is that they cut my water. They said I should pay reconnection fee and some other outstanding bills for a service I didn’t enjoy. It is well sha. God is watching all of them in 20D limited edition that is available in heaven. I need the water in my life now. It is not good…it is not good but I am missing the “mumu” water.
11. See at least three (3) movies and make a review: I have only seen a movie or two this year. It is not like I saw the movie completely o…I was just doing cut and join to fulfill all righteousness. My attention span is -100,000,000 that I wish can be withdrawn from the bank. I hate movies. There was a time people were chanting Game of thrones, Empire and all those kwe kwe movies. I wanted to discipline myself and belong to the reigning babes club so I collected season one of Game of thrones from my colleague at work… I slept off after few minutes to the glory and praise of my cozy bed. I met my laptop blank when I woke up and I was tapping the innocent thing for failing in fulfilling its duty of keeping me awake. The battery ran down and the system went off on its own when there was no body to nurse the draining battery with light.
I want to be a movie person. I want to feed my creativity. I want to be able to hear their spre spre english that they usually speak so fast. Truth is the only thing I can successfully watch is African Magic Yoruba but those people do not have sense. So I do not count those ones as movies. Someone was playing a role on Africa Magic Yoruba and the lady wore the same weavon, eye lashes and nail polish from the beginning of the movie till the end. There was even a throwback to 5 years ago and it was the same weavon and nail polish still. Brethren in the Lord, I gave up on them.
12. Get a good hand cream and lip balm: My skin is just something else. My palm is so coarse and hard. If I slap you eheeeeen, the mark must show that you received my merciless touch. It gets worse and really terrible during harmattan that sometimes, I usually fear that I could just turn to a fish with all the scales and white disarranged map lines on my leg. It has really been a struggle to get a suitable cream for my skin and I have somewhat lived with it all my life. Harmattan is in the air again and my heart is beating tum tum tum. I hate harmattan more than fried potatoes and akara. It is well sha. This life is really a struggle for some of us who weren’t born with a silver skin but ceramic skin that needs guidance and counselling.
I am signing out now and hope you had a good read. Kindly just say a word of prayers for me in your heart. I will really appreciate it. I really love and thank you for sparing out data in this Buhari infested economy to read this. It means a whole lot to me???