Yummy Abby’s facts…
I tried to kiss my sister on her cheeks this evening and my mouth touched something that tasted like sulphur or one of those chemicals we studied in the lab in secondary school. I removed my face suddenly and realised the innocent girl applied one of those spot removing creams to her face to help with her acne. As I write this post, it is safe to say I ate blemish removing cream for dinner tonight because my mouth still tastes like I swallowed acid.
Few random facts about me
1. I don’t like cooking: For me I think cooking is a very hard chore that should only be done when someone is in a great mood. My favourite food to cook on a good day (Christmas day) is smoky party Nigerian JOLLOF rice or vegetable soup with several orisirishi to accompany it. I cook pleasantly well but I don’t do it often.
2. I have a crush on Adolf Hitler and Gen Sani Abacha: I have never said this out before but I am very fascinated by the concept of what Adolf Hitler represented. I think Gen Sani Abacha was so handsome to a fault. Afterall, it is my crush and not your own.
3. I was once addicted to astrology: In secondary school, I believed so much in the originality and functionality of astrology forecasts and predictions. I was always cross checking the predictions of each day with my daily experiences and reality. The predictions were accurate 90% of the time. I stopped the addiction with the help of my seatmate in SS2 when she snooped through my diary and left an endearing note for me about astrology. I attached the note she wrote to my locker and I didn’t remove it till after SS3 final exams.
4. I am always attracted to fancy pens and exotic notebooks: I can spend my last cash to buy a fine jotter or exotic notebook on a shelf in a mall. I bought my current diary for 7k at Jabi Lake Mall in Abuja. I only write very memorable events I don’t want to forget. I lock it away in a safe place that no one can ever have access to in my absence. I have over 20 fancy notebooks I bought at several times I couldn’t resist the urge to take such beauties home.
5. I took up my current job because I didn’t want to go back home after NYSC: On my way to the NYSC orientation camp in 2016, I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to leave Abuja anytime soon. During my service year, I lived my life like I had no home or relatives anywhere to go back to. I worked in four different places so I could save up enough funds to rent an apartment after NYSC. I became desperate after MMM took the money I had saved up in the first seven (7) months. I intensified my efforts by taking up extra lessons for kids with a family in Wuse 2.
6. Alcohol Addiction: I find it extremely stupid to be addicted to such a bitter thing as alcohol. It is tasteless and can be termed as a waste of fun to take down alcohol into your system. I can never be caught drunk on a good day.
7. My Past: There is absolutely nothing I will like to change about my past. While in school, I lived a complete and balanced life. I explored and enjoyed the life of my head. I do not regret anything because I am able to make informed decisions as an adult now because of my numerous escapades. It’s more like I have been there, seen and done it all.
8. Favourite colour: My favourite colour is Lilac. I used to be a fan of red but I outgrew the colour because it became too common and was everywhere. I don’t like colours that are “community projects”
9. Best friend: I don’t have a best friend. It should be because I am not a very likeable and exclusive person. I always look out for myself at all times and my interest comes first before any friend. I tend to be selfish 89% of the time. I have few good friends who might not even remember to call my name on their list of top 10 paddies. It used to be so painful in school when I see people forming cliques and allies. I was just that weird girl who nobody wanted to be friends with. I was also stubborn and naughty and you can call me a low budget bully with one inflated over sized self-esteem.
10. Romantic Escapades: I never went on a proper date either platonic or romantic till I was in 300 level. The first outing I had was with a Masters student in Geography department in UI. I won two movie tickets in a raffle draw and I needed someone to follow me. He obliged because I really wanted him to tag along and not because he was willing to. I was just acting like what I cannot explain. I dozed off in the middle of the movie after I exhausted the popcorn and coke I was offered by Silverbird cinema in Dugbe Ibadan.
11. Academic Prowess: I was never a straight “A” student in Secondary school. The best position I ever took was 5th position when I was in SS2. I never exceeded 7th position tho. My best subject was Literature in english because I could express myself. I hated Mathematics because it was/is too rigid and confining to a definite answer. I didn’t like reading academic books but I could finish two novels a night to my mathematics examination.
12. Emotional outburst: I have the gift of crying when I need it. My father termed my tears as crocodile tears and often refers to me as a drama queen. I can move from a very high jumpy mood to a zero in nanosecond. I have escaped on many occasions with my tears. There was a day my two phones and money were stolen at a park in Ibadan while I was going back to school…I searched and some taxi guys also helped in looking round but we couldn’t find the items. My two numbers were already off and the situation was almost hopeless.
I decided to do small drama in the crowded motor park for those people. I burst into one loud cry that can wake the dead. At my tears and outburst all the taxi men started donating money to me to go back to school. I made N11,500 from different drivers, conductors and well wishers who were moved by my tears. As the men were giving me the money, they were cursing the person who stole the phone and my money. I later got my phones the next day. I guess the person was scared with all the Ibadan themed curses the drivers and conductors were chanting. The phone was returned to the NURTW chairman of Iwo road branch in Ibadan.
13. Favourite Food: As hard as it might seem to believe, I am a very picky consumer of food. On a good day I am a fan of mixed rice and beans topped with stew. I also patronize Amala, ewedu and Gbegiri garnished with exotic goat meat on a day I am happy.
14. Likes: Honesty, empathy, good living, snapchat, Jumia app, jokes, calabar carnival, Big Brother Naija, music, travelling, braid and Ghana weaving, comfortable clothing, luxury, coldstone ice cream, novels, shawarma, Joy Isi Bewaji, Orifunke Lawal.
15. Dislikes: Politics, football, democracy (it gives room for stupidity and foolishness, dirtiness, violence, bullies, religious fanatics, boring meetings, leeches, unnecessary repetition, blame shifters, Donald Trump and ignoramus family.
Unnumbered additions to the list
My brain is an expert at blocking off unpleasant memories and acts of betrayals. That is why I find it easy to forgive and forget.
I hardly speak Yoruba. I secretly wish I were fluent in Hausa, French and Mandarin.
I don’t fancy poetry. I feel it is a waste of words and energy.
I can be very shy in new environments but when I warm up to the people and I am comfortable, I can become the life of the party.
I hate cliques. I hate gossips. I know how to mind my business.
My favourite social media platform is Facebook. I don’t like twitter. I have a sweet relationship with instagram.
I don’t trust anyone. Not even myself. So definitely not you too.
Thanks for reading… I feel really sleepy. I will be back to edit my grammar and punctuation when I have successfully satisfied my sleep cravings. I love you!!!